Why do people always let you down? Why is it that it’s so hard to look past the wrong doings and impulsively hurt the other, when the other didn’t really mean to do what they did? So what if it was on purpose? Or even not doing it without knowing that they are doing it?

WHY DO I KEEP ASKING WHY?

I don’t want to let people down. I guess it’s one of the reasons that I undermine myself. I didn’t want to get their hopes too high. It’s like an allowance for their confidence in me. But sometimes, it backfires because people tend to take your word for granted and assume you are not brilliant, hence leaving me out of things. It hurts, you know. I really does. 

Time is changing and it’s getting harder. I am stressed. I can’t be that vibrant innocent young girl anymore. The weigh of experience and knowledge on my shoulders teaches me to worry about things. I worry, I feel scared and I learn to accept changes. Time would not wait for me, but I don’t know why I can’t bring myself to do a thing about it. It’s like this saying again, “if you can’t beat it, join it”. I can’t beat it, but WHY AM I NOT JOINING IT? I’m in the middle of nowhere. I really don’t know what to do. :(

I know. Hide my laptop. Force myself to study. No more social networking. No more fun chats and jokes. Eat my vitamins. Blah blah blah.

GOD, this is sooooo annoying. -__-

I’m tired. I need to de-stress. Ohm.

end.