i thought i had a pebble in my sock

i pulled it off and shook out a wasp

it stumbled out lost, and without a pause

unstung as i was, still i stomped it

(via thiswayto)

I had to look up “paraprosdokian”.

Here is the definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.”

“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to this level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’

13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

22. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Words of Wisdom “The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”  

Where’d I go wrong?

I know that I can’t take back all of the mistakes but I’ll try. 

I came across this notebook on my shelf. Inside, was a story of my exam days in secondary school, in the middle of form 3.

Dorothy was still around, and so was I. I was still very innocent and carefree. My life hadn’t changed and time seemed to go by rather slowly then. It’s so hard to imagine that I used to see these people in my life every other day, but meet up once or twice in a year presently. I’m surprised how all these memories came rushing back as I read those pages. I used code names like Pianka and Fleur (not sure why) and I somehow forgotten who were some of the people I mentioned.

All in all, I guess my life in DJ wasn’t so bad afterall. I did make good friends, that are worth keeping in touch with. Every outing with them felt like it was just yesterday that we just met. I guess these are the friends that will follow me through life’s prominent stages and hopefully till the end of time. 

It’s funny how my life changed so drastically, me leaving haphazardly, Dorothy entering a prestigious school in Melbourne, Amanda and Yee Pei splitting up to different classes. And now it had changed again, me being a lifeless mugger and complaining I can’t walk everyday instead of complaining about wearing green uniform and carrying heavy textbooks. Gone were those days sitting in math class pulling out pieces of rubber erasers from my hair and hanging out after playing pool or a long day of school. I guess as I tend to appreciate my friends more now that I’m older and (hopefully) more matured. And I appreciate those people in my secondary school life back home more than ever.

Update about my life:

1. felt like crap for the past two days because I had a headache and prolonged pain in my leg (it’s irritating) and the icing on the cake, rashes (my head swells up like a balloon and my arms and legs are full of blotchy spots).
2. I miss my Blackberry.
3. I miss home very much.
4. the revision schedule (wtf?) is on my board.
5. am hating my room mate for turning down the fan speed every night.
6. I finished my tube of counterpain.
7. I hate flying bugs that crawls up my thigh.
8. I am constantly made fun of.
9. I sleep like a pig. :D
10. I hate PW.

Besides all the pains and itchiness, I’m still alive and kicking! I hope for a better week to come. :)

My companion every night. :)

Too long since I’ve bothered to blog rather than just copy and pasting lyrics. Is it because of the writer’s block, or just apathetic towards the need of updating my life? Either way, I think being a lazy bum contributed to this cause. Correction, it is the underlying reason.

Anyway, school’s been pretty exhausting. Got me thinking a lot. And realization dawned upon me. I miss my room mate. I miss my dinner table crew. I miss my CWDS friends. The wavelength of the people here… I guess you could say I’m way off the charts. Though, the thing I miss the most is my roommate. Now life is just so mundane and irritable around this hot stuffy fan speed at three bedroom. Badger, my life saver everyday. I used to be so grateful and showed gratitude towards everything in my life, but now I’m plain cranky and I want to smother someone in her sleep every night.

But on the bright side, I can confidently say that life will get better. Because I want it to, and also because I will make it so. Positivity helps (thank you sucker).

I need a haircut.

Peace out dude.

It’s so hard to say that I’m sorry
I’ll make everything alright
All these things that I’ve done
Now what have I become and where’d I go wrong?

I don’t mean to hurt, just to put you first
I won’t tell you lies
(I’m sorry)
I will stand accused with my hand on my heart
I’m just trying to say

I’m sorry, it’s all that I can say
You mean so much
And I’d fix all that I’ve done if I could start again
I’d throw it all away to the shadows of regrets
And you would have the best of me